we don't share our appreciation enough
Welcome to week two of Our Best Work Weekly, a newsletter from Healthy Pour where you'll get weekly tips on creating a healthy workplace, becoming a more compassionate leader, and cultivating a regenerative relationship with work.
We're entering the holiday season, and with Thanksgiving just a few days away, we're seeing the inevitable chatter about gratitude. Gratitude can be an extraordinary tool to improve our mental health, as it reframes our current situation so we see how abundant our lives are instead of focusing on what's lacking. Having a gratitude practice works, meaning it helps us emotionally regulate and relieve stress.
Except...
There are limitations. Like, you can't gratitude journal your way out of poverty, systemic oppression, or exploitation. So, while it's a helpful tool for reframing circumstances and emotionally regulating, gratitude practices tend to stay internal - shaping our internal emotional experiences with minimal external change or pressure.
The real winner is APPRECIATION. Gratitude is that general, warm-fuzzy feeling when we're thankful, but appreciation is how gratitude is expressed and communicated. It's sharing that internal, regulatory gratitude practice with others.
And how great does it feel to know we're appreciated?! That we matter?!
Appreciation is huge, including in the workplace. Human beings (socially reliant creatures) constantly assess their value and worth within a group since we need the group to survive. It's an evolutionary hangover, but not really because social support is vital to our well-being. When we don't feel appreciated, all hell breaks loose in our imaginations and brains. It's so stressful: "Am I doing a good job? Am I getting laid off? Does everyone hate me?"
But when we communicate our appreciation (and feedback in general), we're not only relieving that stress and pressure but helping to establish safety and security, as well as connection, trust, compassion, and care. AND we still get all the benefits of a gratitude practice. Win-win.
Try these:
“I’m glad we’re on this project together. I appreciate you.”
“I learned so much from your presentation! I appreciate how passionate you are about the topic.”
“I know we’re at the end of the quarter crunch, and I appreciate your follow-through. You’re such a wonderful colleague.”
“I appreciate how you spoke up in there. That took a lot of courage, and I feel more able to speak up in the future because of you.”
“I appreciate how you always take a vacation and model healthy working habits. It gives me permission to do the same.”
But remember: sharing appreciation through words is only a part of it. At work, a job is ultimately about receiving compensation for survival, so make sure people also feel properly appreciated in those important transactional moments when determining and distributing financial and benefits compensation. We love a pizza party, but only when folks have what they need to survive and thrive. Appreciation and compensation are not replacements for each other: they’re besties.
Here is some more reading about creating a culture of appreciation!
See you next Monday,
