Research and science show that we are primarily feeling beings, and the thoughts follow. This is counter to so much of what social and group conditioning has told us for decades (buck it up, leave your feelings at the door, logic over emotion, etc.), so it’s sometimes hard to wrap our heads around. I could go on about my research regarding emotional intelligence in the drinks industry, but overall I’ve found that most individuals who work in this corner of the world haven’t had the opportunity to hone the skills of emotional literacy. This book is profoundly helpful in understanding our own emotions, decoding the emotional patters of others (and how it impacts their behavior and decision making), and becoming more effective communicators, leaders, and safer human beings as a result. This is life changing stuff, and you all should read it just because you’ll know yourself better as a result.

A wonderful examination of not only the importance of emotional intelligence, but a thorough and action oriented way to utilize EI skills. The most essential takeaway for me was to not shy away from feeling challenging emotions, but allowing ourselves to live in them for a bit, feel them, explore them, and then move away from them when we're ready. Very valuable work that gives us permission to embrace our humanity in whole.

Daniel Goleman makes the case of why our focus should include EQ with (maybe) less emphasis on IQ. A very important argument about why emotional intelligence is important in so man areas of our lived experience.

This BOOK. I’m grateful for my therapist’s recommendation years ago to read this, but I often return to it when I’m feeling especially disjointed. An oldie, but a goodie.

Burnout is so often misunderstood and misrepresented in the way we think and talk about it (hint: it’s not just chronic stress), and this doctor-sister team do a really wonderful service to the topic. Most of the literature examines burnout from the perspective of work psychology, but this book also gives personal, emotional, and relational burnout its due. In a time where all our stress responses are on high and are experiencing trauma of some kind, this is a very important read. That being said, there are parts of this book that make me absolutely cringe—but I think that might be more of a personal preference issue when it comes to the delivery and communication of information, so take my opinion for what it is.

This book, and the work of John Townsend and Henry Cloud, has become the standard foundation for boundary work—though the concept is expanding and other voices are (rightfully) growing louder in this arena. They also offer books and workbooks on boundaries in more specific areas like work, relationships, and parenting.

I’ve only just bought this book, but Nedra Glover Tawwab’s instagram account is one of the most approachable, ethical, and thorough therapist accounts on the internet right now. I’m excited to dig in, and will up this description when I do!

If you know me, you know I’m a big fan of taking what we read and putting it into practice—and journaling/workbooking is a great way to do this.

Lots of great info in here about childhood trauma, addiction and chemical dependency, and how those factors have an effect on our decision-making processes and ability to thrive. Lots of reparenting in here, so hold on to your butts, but so much of what’s in this book is relevant to what we’re seeing in the hospitality industry. If you want your mind blown a bit, dig into this.

In 1986, Melody Beattie wrote Codependent No More which has become a breakthrough work and regarded as required reading when learning about codependency. This book, however, is updated and written for a contemporary generation. Beattie is very generous with information here, and thoroughly walks the reader through nuanced differences in terminology, theory, and behaviors.

Ummm, so, this book was published in 1988 and is So. Painfully. Relevant. We have this habit of attaching ourselves to the newest concept or bit of research—which is with good reason—but sometimes gems like this one get lost because they’re almost too ahead of its time. This is largely about workplace culture, conformity, assimilation, and suppression, but I have it in this section because its easier to identify patterns of codependency, lack of boundaries, and their impact on workplace behavior (as well as the workplace impacting someone’s life as a whole) when read together.

I have the audiobook downloaded and ready to take with my on my daily walks with my dog, but this book has been recommended to me quite a few times. I’ll update this description once I’ve finished it!

First, if you haven’t watched her Netflix special—do it. Her work in shame, vulnerability, and courage has become something of a cultural phenomenon (particularly in the COVID era), and she’s transitioned and applied her qualitative work into organizations and leadership. This is a very gentle intro into integrating feelings, emotional well-being, and interpersonal/empathetic “soft skills” into organizations.

In this book, Timothy R. Clark presents psychological safety in multiple contexts beyond work: family, community, the classroom, etc. While Amy Edmundson’s book certainly reads as being targeted towards business and economics, Clark dives into needs, feelings of safety, psychological and emotional processes, and theory while illustrating them with multiple models to learn from.

Amy Edmundson’s research in psychological safety’s impact on workplace efficacy, employee retention, and innovation is some of the most exciting work to come out in the last few decades. I could write my own book about how much I love this book. I own the hard copy and often revisit it on Audible. I love it. She makes a solid case for embracing vulnerability and reframing failure as an opportunity through citing her own research and real life businesses that have employed her work.

I don’t know that there has been a more influential learning theory than Dr. Dweck’s Growth vs Fixed Mindset work. As I write this, I keep exhaling because her work is so brilliant, so influential, and so wonderful that I just want all of you to read it immediately. I think the concept of growth vs fixed mindset is becoming more and more integrated in the common vernacular.

I had the pleasure of watching an interview with Dr. Einhorn about change management through Cornell University’s pandemic webinar series, and I was absolutely taken with her approach to unraveling thought biases when confronted with especially challenging decisions. As a counselor, we are asked to become well acquainted with ethical dilemmas and decision-making processes, and I had never encountered a decision making model that was so thorough and almost painfully forgiving.

Adam Grant's newest book certainly didn't disappoint. Drawing from his working organizational theory, Grant makes a compelling case for us to shift our approach in how we communicate, teach, problem solve, and connect. He integrates the work of other psychologists and leaders in the field for an approachable introduction into patterned thinking, bias, and change.

Oh what a read! Dr. Kahneman breaks down then marries decision making and thought processes that are rooted in the emotional and instinctive, and rational and logical. It’s a beast, but expansive in the best way. Really, it’s a book about learning how to trust yourself and becoming better acquainted with your thought processes.

I found this book through a bias training offered by Tales of the Cocktail for the education community, and I really enjoyed it. I love the specificity of workplace with this book, and it’s been so helpful for me as I build my own business.

Rhodes Perry offers a wealth of information, and this book is generous as can be. It’s thorough, full of case studies, systems of accountability, and deeply authentic and compassionate. A book worth reading and rereading throughout your career.

This is a collection of essays from contributors who are top scholars, researchers, and practitioners that provide insight into the impact of race in the workplace, the future of workplace DE&I, and strategies and interventions we can use to move forward. I’m still working through all the essays, but I love that the authors come from multiple fields of study and expertise. So helpful.

This is a collection of interviews of business and thought leaders discussing their experiences with creating diversity and inclusivity in the workplace—including failures and how they recovered. Great read.

This book is a treasure. A quick read (or listen!) that is a gentle but thorough introduction to cultural power structures, how they’ve been integrated in our thinking and value systems, and some ways to dismantle them. It’s a celebration of contribution, feedback, engagement, and collaboration.

I’m adding this book to this section because it can be easily utilized as a guide of how to either put into words why a bar or restaurant is open and operating, or why you want to open one. This book can absolutely help owners, leadership, and the teams within the organization work together to establish core values, intention, and mindful operation. It is also helpful for brand advocates who are looking to provide more thoughtful events in the future.

I love listening to this podcast, and I learn so much with each episode. Each episode explores an aspect of the hospitality through anthropological theory (thanks to Kisira Hill) then invites a guest to speak to that aspect with Kisira and David Mohr.

I’m just going to come out and say it: this is my favorite podcast. I love listening to it, I’m profoundly inspired by it, and it’s also how I met Nariba. So good.